


Impostor Syndrome

by yorakashi



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anxiety, Cooking, Impostor Syndrome, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Vinsmoke Sanji-centric, Whole Cake Island Arc Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-19 00:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29498838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yorakashi/pseuds/yorakashi
Summary: Sanji thinks he might not be as good as people think and he hates himself for that.
Relationships: Aka Ashi no Zeff | Red-Leg Zeff & Vinsmoke Sanji, Vinsmoke Sanji & Vinsmoke Family
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Impostor Syndrome

There were days when Sanji was terribly tired. Was it normal for him not to have the urge to get up to make breakfast anymore ? To think of a new idea of dishes for the many heads he has to feed when he loved that basic, this idea of being creative and thinking about new flavors, giving himself challenges.

There were days when, yes, Sanji didn't want to cook anymore. But every day he had to get up to cook. It was his job, it was why Luffy chose him, it was the thing the whole crew trusted him and Sanji couldn't betray them.

_A heavy weight on his skinny shoulders._

Every now and then he hated himself for it, not wanting to cook. For being afraid of cooking. He had run away from Germa, he had clung to life on that rock, had he had this chance in life to be by Zeff's side for years to dare to throw tantrum ?

Zeff had already noticed Sanji's behavior, he had tried to reassure him that it was normal, that even at best it was not to want to, to run out of imagination. That he just had to go out, clear his mind, search for new foods or even redo one of his favorite dishes to cook and revisit it.

Sanji disagreed. This was not to happen to him. Not when the kitchen had saved him from all his dark thoughts. Nonetheless, he still applied Zeff's advice when he was at Baratie.

But since being a pirate, there were days when Sanji felt overwhelmed. He felt like he had been able to explore everything already, that he had revisited every food in his kitchen. So he thought of All Blue, how he longed to be able to see all the fish in this world, to be able to do something unique by working on their taste and appearance.

And then he thought about the fact that All Blue didn't exist, that it was just an illusion. He knew it. He just desperately clings to it for a living. _To survive_ , like he always think to do.

He laughs bitterly at this.

So, maybe Sanji had already done it all, it would all come to an end. That it was really becoming unnecessary. That even the thing he was good at turned to waste. He thinks he doesn't deserve his title of East Blue's Best Cook. After all, all he had done was learn from Zeff. What was coming back to him ? People no doubt pretended to like his cooking, as his mother did to give him a grain of joy in his melancholy life.

He is an _impostor_ after all. He always has been, even in his own family.

**Author's Note:**

> a drabble that I wrote very quickly. I wanted to post it before chapter 5 of "learn how to love like you" (which will arrive soon I hope).  
> Sanji faces both the impostor syndrome but also a form of art block but for cooking. Cooking is an art too so I imagined that. 
> 
> A lot of artist go through art block, don’t worry you are not alone. You can speak about it with other artists. My english is not that good but if you wanna talk about this, i’m open to the discussion don’t worry <3


End file.
